|| - 02.20.2007
|Ever since my latest CD came out, people found out I was on a new label called EB+FLO Records. Well, record labels don't just come out of nowhere, and when they do arrive on the scene, deciding what to name them is almost as intense as trying to name a new baby! Or maybe like trying to name a pet. Or a disease, or a new species.
Well, you get the picture. When Monroe Jones started the label, he searched high and low for a good name for it. Turns out he named it after a lively old couple, close to 100 years old (we think) who we've never actually seen, except in drawings, online.
So, I thought I'd introduce CHRISRICE.COM readers to Eb and Flo. They've got some spunk for their age, that's for sure! Hope you enjoy the conversation as much as I did...
Chris: Thanks so much for taking some time to let me interview you.
Flo: Oh, we’re just pleased as punch.
Eb: Peas for lunch? No, I had a tuna sandwich. You know, peas don’t settle well with me. They give me ga…
Flo: Honey, Chris wants to ask us a few questions. Isn’t that sweet?
Eb: Sure it is. Who’s Chris?
Flo: This nice gentleman sitting in front of us.
Eb: Well, knock me down and steal muh teeth! Hello, son. Welcome to our home.
Chris: Thanks, but this is MY home.
Eb: Oh yes, yes, I was wonderin’ when we got the walls painted yellow.
Flo: Our walls are yellow too, Eb. Remember? You and Percy painted the livin’ room last winter.
Eb: I remember. Still got a crick in my neck from painting all that trim. Blue looked better, but I’m getting used to yellow now. Gotta keep Mama happy, ya know!
Flo: That's right...
Chris: Yes sir. I’m glad we have the same taste in living room color. Now, is it fair for me to ask you how old you guys are?
Flo: Oh dear! Eb and I like to keep that to ourselves. Let’s just say I remember when dirt was a teenager!
Eb: She dated dirt in high school!
Flo: Well, at least dirt WENT to high school!
Eb: Ha! Good one. She’s kidding, Chris, I went to high school, too. Silly as a naked goose, aren’t you, Lovey?
Chris: I figured. Well, can I at least ask how long you’ve been married?
Eb: We got married very young, just like a lot of kids in our day. I was 19 and Flo was a toddler.
Flo: Eb, dear me! Now I’m blushing! I was 17, really.
Eb: Ain’t she cute as a basket o’ puppies when she blushes?
Chris: So how long ago was that? Your wedding day?
Flo: Now Chris, you’re a nice young man, but we’re not telling you that, either. Then you’d figure out how ol…
Flo: ‘um, young we are.
Chris: OK. Well I almost got it out of you. Why the secrecy about your ages?
Eb: Flo’s so old, they tried carbon dating on her and had to reconfigure the whole theory of evolution!
Flo: Very funny! Eb, why don’t you tell Chris about your pet dinosaur?
Eb: Hmmmm. Her name was Flo. Ha!
Flo: (kisses Eb on the cheek) And you LOVE your little dinosaur, don’t you, Dear?
Eb: You bet I do. When this gentleman leaves…
Flo: His name is Chris.
Eb: …when Chris leaves, I’ll smooch you to prove it.
Flo: Honey, Chris isn’t leaving. This is HIS house. We’re the ones leaving.
Eb: So soon? We just got here!
Flo: Oh, we’re not leaving yet, Ebby.
Eb: Good. I like this Chris fella.
Chris: Well, I like you too, Eb. So tell me, what is Eb short for?
Eb: Ebenezer. Named after someone in the Bible.
Flo: You mean, named after someTHING in the Bible. A pile of rocks!
Eb: Yessirree! An altar to God’s faithfulness. I’m an altar…solid rock! Look at these muscles…
Flo: Pumpkin, those muscles had their better days…
Eb: Honest as a salesman on a Tuesday, they did!
Chris: What about Flo? Where did your name come from?
Flo: It’s short for Florence.
Eb: That’s a town in Alabama?
Flo: Yep. But I don’t think I was named after the town. Anyway, if I WAS named after a town, I’d rather it be Florence, Italy. That sounds so much more distinguished.
Eb: Maybe you were born with a weak bladder, so they called you ‘Flow.’ Get it? Flo?
Flo: Cute, Ebenezer! Come to think of it, may I use your bathroom, Chris? I’m about to burst like a beaverdam!
Chris: Sure, just down the hall, on the left.
Flo: Be back quicker’n a cat in a rockin’ chair store. (whispers to me) Careful what you ask him while I’m gone. His wheel’s still turnin’ but the hampster’s dead...if you know what I mean.
Chris: Oh, I think we’ll be fine.
Eb: She always calls me Ebenezer when I get ‘er riled up. Love gettin’ her riled up! Hee!
Chris: I have another bathroom, if you want to…
Eb: I’m wearin’ a diaper.
Chris: Uh…You’re kidding, right?
Eb: Sure I am, son. Maybe.
Flo: (from down the hall) Behave yourself, Eb!
Chris: This is really great of you guys to come over today.
Eb: We’re glad to. And by the way, you can ask me questions without her here. I just let her think ‘the hampster’s dead’ so she can enjoy takin’ care of me. She likes that, you know.
Chris: I can tell. You’re a perfect match!
Eb: We’re both smart as Einstein, but we don’t let each other know it. She doesn’t think I know how smart she is. But I think she knows how smart I am, she just lets me act looney so she can take care. Kind of an unspoken agreement, that happens when you’ve been together as long as we have.
Chris: Nice arrangement.
Eb: Except when something really serious comes up. Then we’re both sharp as tacks and operatin’ on ‘stun’ as the kids say!
Chris: I’m sure you get to really know somebody well when you’ve been together for a long time.
Eb: Yeah, we finish each others…
Flo: …sentences! (muffled, from the bathroom)
Eb: She’s quite a woman, but she eavesdrops a little too much. (winks)
Flo: (still from the bathroom) I do not!
Eb: Hee! Run the water…we can hear you out here! Well, Mr. Chris, get to askin’ some questions. I’m not getting’ any younger!
Chris: Ok, …well…
Flo: I’m back.
Eb: You’re not fat.
Flo: Back…I said ‘back.’ Now where were we?
Eb: We’re at Chris’s house. And you’re NOT fat.
Flo: Thanks Dear. Whew, thought I was gonna flood the sinful earth again. No more lemonade for me today!
Chris: Hey, I think I’ll use the little boys room now, too. Be right back!
Eb: OK. We'll smooch on the couch while you're out of the room...
Chris: Ha! Don't make me laugh when I gotta use the bathroom!
(I leave the room, but I accidentally left the mini-disk recording…)
Flo: He’s such a nice fellow, huh, Dear?
Eb: Sure, but he didn’t even offer us any lemonade.
Flo: Probably doesn’t have any. And anyway, boys don’t think of nice things like that. What he needs is a good woman! We gotta find that boy a girl!
Eb: Havin’ a girl’s not so great…OUCH! Don’t pinch.
Flo: Be nice!
Eb: I’s just kiddin’ Puddin’!
Flo: I’m fixin’ to kid you into next week! Hey, how ‘bout Thelma’s daughter? I’ll bet he’d like her!
Eb: Naw, she talks too much. He’d never go for her. You think we could ask him for some lemonade?
Flo: No, Hon. That’s rude. If he doesn’t think of it, I’ll fix you a glass when we get home!
Eb: How long’s this interview s’posed to take? I’m gittin’ thirsty.
Flo: I don’t know. You know, come to think of it, he hasn’t written down a single thing! You think he’s making all this up?
Eb: Don’t know, Dear. Maybe.
Flo: What about that Sally girl who delivers for that bakery shop? I’ll bet she can cook like a chef on ‘roids! She’ll make him happy!
Eb: ‘Roids? Isn't that short for "steroids?" I need to use that word more. Gotta stay up with the times, don’t we dear. Anyway, I’m sure Chris can find himself a girl, without our help. He’s quite a stud—reminds me of myself, back in the day!
Flo: Me too. You used to have the most...Oh, here he comes. Now don’t mention the lemonade, ok?
Eb: Hey Chris...don’t you have a song about lemonade?
Chris: Sure do.
Eb: And an old song called, “Thirsty.”
Chris: Yes sir. I’m surprised you remember that one.
(long awkward pause)
Eb: I like that part about ‘my lips are free!’
Flo: That’s from his other song, ‘When Did You Fall In Love With Me.”
Eb: (sings) “…was it out of the blue, ‘cuz I swear I never…” I remember when I fell in love with you, Flo. Remember?
Flo: Oh my! We were walking home from school…
Eb: See, Chris, I DID go to high school!
Flo: We were walking home from school, and Mildred started flirting with you. She was stuck to you!
Eb: Stuck like a booger you can’t thump off!
Flo: Now, Eb! Eb had ALL the ladies’ attention!
Eb: Sure did. But I saw you roll your eyes when Mildred punched me on the arm. Love-tap, really. And you were green as a treefrog with jealousy!
Flo: Oh, that Mildred love-tapped every boy in the school at least twice a day!
Eb: Anyway, when I saw you get jealous, I felt my heart skip a beat. “She likes me!” I thought, and I was instantly in love! I got that sinkin’ feelin’ in my gut, like that split second when you jump from a tree branch into the creek first time for the summer.
Flo: Then you, you little stinker, you ‘love-tapped’ Mildred back!
Eb: That was just to see your reaction again. You were on fire, just a-steamin’! You curled your lips in, and wrinkled your eyebrows like a werewolf. I thought you were gonna explode.
Flo: Me and Mildred were about to go on a trip to fist city!
Eb: Luckily, Flo's house was right there, and I walked her all the way up to her front door.
Flo: And you didn’t even say goodbye to Mildred, bless her heart.
Eb: I wanted to make sure you knew that YOU had all my attention. And you’ve had it all, ever since!
Flo: I know. I caught the best fish in the pond! (Had to use stink-bait to get’im!) Poor Mildred sulked away down the street, and I was happy as a fat tick on a skinny hound, with YOU by my side!
Eb: An’ I’m still here!
Flo: You bet your beehive! Wonder what Mildred’s up to now?
Eb: Probably love-tapping every Hank and Sid in the nursing home! Bless her heart.
Flo: Bless her heart.
Chris: Bless her heart.
Flo: Are you patronizing?
Chris: Oh, no Ma’am. Just being a little over-agreeable…I guess…bless MY heart.
Flo: Yes, bless your heart.
Eb: Enough already. I’m gonna need a nap after all this heart-blessin’! Let’s get on with this here interviewin’. By the way, Chris, thanks for comin’ over. Can I offer you some lem…
Eb: Just kidding, Dear!
Chris: That’s a sweet story, how you fell in love.
Flo: Well, we love your song about falling in love. Isn’t that a top-ten song now?
Chris: Sure is.
Flo: We keep track of the charts, now that you’re on our record label.
Chris: That’s what I was about to get to. You guys have a record label named after you, Eb+Flo Records. That’s pretty cool.
Eb: It’s a lot of fun. That’s all I can say. We get to keep up with all the kids and the cool music. We also have an online CD store called ebflo.com where people can buy a lot of great music. YOUR music! And a lot of other artists!
Chris: Ha! You sound like a commercial! But most people your age, and I mean that respectfully, don’t know much about the internet. How did you get into that?
Eb: Well, Monroe Jones and Ken Lewis, nicest guys in the world, started the label and named it after us! And they’re the ones that got us rockin’ with the internet store.
Flo: Our favorite artists are the ones on our label. Monroe produced Holly Williams’ record. She’s Hank Jr.’s daughter you know! (sings:) “Are you ready for some football!”
Chris: Ha! And Steven Delopoulos.
Flo: Bless his heart. He’s not from these parts. You can tell by his accent.
Eb: And Monroe’s working with that legendary ‘twang’ guy, Duane Eddy, on some new music, all for our label, Eb+Flo! We’re stoked to be a part of that.
Flo: Oh dear, Duane Eddy, he sure was a looker back in the day, as the children say.
Eb: Oh please, he’s not all that! And the kids don’t say ‘looker’ anymore!
Flo: Well, look who’s green as a treefrog now!
Chris: Wait! Eb, did you just use the word ‘stoked?’
Flo: Yeah, we’re pretty hip for old folks, huh!
Eb: Yeah! While most old folks are BREAKING hips, we’re BEING hip! Ha!
Flo: Clever, dude!
Flo: Ouch, Honey. Too hard!
Eb: Sorry, Bud.
Chris: I have so many things to ask ya’ll about, but not enough time. Do you think I can interview you again sometime?
Eb: Sure. Just let us know. ‘Course, our schedule’s as tight as a sister’s boot, but we’ll try to squeeze you in with a shoehorn! That reminds me, Honey, did we feed the birds this mornin’?
Flo: No, Eb, we’re outa seeds.
Eb: We’ll go to the store when Chris leaves.
Flo: (rolls her eyes) Don’t mind the old goat.
Eb: I heard that.
Flo: Sure is funny what you hear and what you don’t!
Eb: (winks) What are you talkin’ about, Sweetness?
Chris: Well, thanks for letting me on your label, and thanks for letting me interview you! We’ll do some more interviewing soon, how about that?
Flo: Oh, we’d love it, Chris! And by the way, our schedules aren’t THAT tight. But my shoes are! Whew! Gotta get home and soak. You know, old people’s feet swell.
Eb: My feet don’t smell!
Flo: That’s not what I said.
Eb: There’s snot on my head?
Flo: No, Deary. Let’s go home now.
Eb: This isn’t our home? (winks)
Flo: (rolls her eyes) No, Peach. This is Chris’s house.
Eb: Who’s Chris?
Flo: Never mind…now how ‘bout that smooch you promised me?
Eb: How come you always wanna smooch whenever someone mentions Duane Eddy?
Flo: Now you got me blushing again!
Eb: …basket o’ puppies, I tell you what! (kisses her on the cheek) You happy now, Precious?
Flo: Pretty much.
Eb: Now let’s make like a cow patty, and hit the trail.
Flo: Oh, Eb! Manners! Thank you, Chris. We’ll be on our way now.
Eb: Yeah, and thanks for the lemonade … ouch! … what?
Flo: Eb really likes that song!
Chris: Speaking of lemonade, would you guys like some lemonade before you leave?
Eb: Well, I thought you’d nev…
Flo: DEAR ME, no thank you sonny. My bladder can’t take anymore. And I’ll fix some for Ebby when we get home.
Chris: Ok. Well, it’s been a pleasure.
Eb: Pleasure’s been ours.
Flo: Buh-bye now, Sweetheart.
Chris: Bye! Be good, you two!
Eb: ...yeah, right...